The woman .. Who is she?

Do you really know the woman ?

 

As men and women are very different in their ways of acting and thinking, I propose some criteria specific to women: Gentlemen, do you know them?

• A woman looks first to the mind of a man. 

• A woman gives what she would like to receive. 

• A woman can forgive betrayal but never forget it. 

•  Some women like men who approach them shyly, others prefer men who approach them in a direct and voluntarily.
  
  

•  If a woman's heart falls, she will fall in with.

•  The genius of a woman lies in her heart.

   

• A man does not forget the first woman he loved .. a woman never forgets the first man who has betrayed her. 

• The best way to make a woman change her mind is to appropriate it.

• A woman explores the issues in depth before forming an opinion and when she makes a decision, it is final.
  
  
  

• In case of conflict, a woman wants to have someone who sympathizes with her point of view and not resolve the conflict.
  
  
  
  

  And this is nothing but the beginning of the way to understand women ...

Master your Emotions

Very often, we feel emotions which make us happy, pleased, in security, etc. But very often too, negative emotions invade us and control our thoughts and attitudes. Sometimes, these negative emotions can be more painful than physical pain. People fall prey negative emotions and make the wrong decisions or take adverse actions. Therefore emotions are one of the most important part of human life. Some people spend hours in thinking, crying, or recalling the bad story, isolate themselves or even hurt themselves without really being able to relieve themselves. Others run away and stop thinking of the problem in order to escape the bad feeling of emotional pain, so they try to do 'something else' and pretend to be happy or not caring, a way of repressing negative emotions in order to be released from real life. None of these attitudes will solve really the problem as one should face the negative feeling and not run from it. Here are 11 steps that we can follow regularly each time we feel negative emotions invading us :

1. Accept full responsibility for the emotion. Even if you don't fully believe it right now, tell yourself, "I Create My Reality, and I am Creating this Emotion Right Now". Usually, people never get beyond step one because they actually believe that outer circumstances are causing their emotions.

2. Name the emotion. Giving the emotion a name increases your clarity, awareness, and consciousness. Don't just say you feel sad or bad or mad. Expand your emotional knowledge until you can positively identify the feelings of violation, disappointment, anxiety, shame, embarrassment, and many more.

3. Let go of the story. The story is whatever it is outside yourself that you think caused the emotion. Literally "see" the story being cut off from your emotion and fading away. Let go of the story but keep the emotion that you created and which now has a name.

4. Bless the emotion. Blessing the emotion means not judging it as good or bad. Accept the emotion in a spirit of gratitude and learning. This is necessary in order to do the next step properly.

5. Feel the emotion. With no judging or resistance, simply feel the emotion. Notice where you feel the emotion physically in your body. Raise your consciousness as you become a "witness", a kind of observer of your own processes. What you resist persists, and allowing the emotion in this way is the very opposite of resistance.

6. Ask for clarity. In a spirit of learning and willingness to grow, ask for insight as to the reason for the emotion. Don't go back to the story. The "cause" of the emotion is you, and nothing outside yourself. Ask "What do I need to learn from this emotion." Also ask "What ineffective belief do I own that created this emotion."

7. Identify the belief. Create a space for the answer to come, and it will come. At the root of nearly every painful emotion is an ineffective belief. You may believe that you must make everyone happy. You may believe you can't be loved if you are not perfect. You may believe that you are simply not worth it.

8. Replace the belief. Once you have identified the belief, choose to replace it with a more effective belief. Literally say to yourself, "I now choose to reject this (ineffective belief) and adopt this (empowering belief) in its place".

9. Summary – You will find that during the last four steps of the process, something magical has happened! The painful emotion is gone, completely transformed into something else. The reason for this magic is the clarity and increase in consciousness.

10. Normally, people resist their painful emotions with intense energy, which only keeps them festering and in pain for hours. By allowing yourself to feel in a spirit of openness and acceptance, you can learn your lessons quickly.

11. A fantastic side benefit is that you now have a powerful new belief in place! You can grow more in a few weeks than you have in the past years by practising this process diligently.

Emotional Intelligence.. What is it?

Are you emotionally intelligent?

To open the archive, clic on the picture..

Next… from the archive … « Emotional Intelligence » : do you know it?

Better Understand a Woman

What to do with a Stressed Woman !

Sirs, are you able to recognise the symptoms of a stressed woman without feeling concerned? Women under stress tend to mix their feelings with those of others' and lose their balance. They feel completely torn. Men interpret personally these symptoms and believe that they are unable to help them, which is a good reason to withdraw from the scene. Here are three symptoms of a stressed woman; try to understand them: 

First symptom: overwhelming

Stress intensifies the feminine sensibility. Faced to an unusual influx of emotions, a woman can no longer distinguish between her feelings and those of others and feels obliged to meet the expectations of everyone. She feels so overwhelmed and unable to find rest until everything is done. The more she forgets her needs in favour of those of others, the more she is overloaded. She continues to give and give without ever taking the time to receive. She ends up by blindly submitting to the desires of others, till exhaustion. She becomes unable to prioritise.

When a woman complains of being overwhelmed, she is simply trying to share her feelings. It will be enough to listen to her! Her husband takes distance to escape the feeling of guilt she sends back to him. He feels he disappoints her but does not know how to express it without losing face. He doesn't tell her that he wants her happiness, that he hates to see her sad, etc.., and does not even imagine that she would like to hear this. From her side, the woman becomes sure that he does not love her because his external behaviour suggests that he doesn't care and that everything is going well. The result: she feels even more alone.

A man should know that a stressed woman needs an attentive ear from her husband and not having solutions. 

Second symptom: dramatising

A woman burdened always tends to dramatise. After a stressful day, a woman is able to relate all her worries and aggression on her husband as if he were the cause of all her worries. If he lets her discuss the rest of her concerns, she can generally relax. In this state, it is easy to go about unfair hurts and forget them. The man reacts similarly to stress: he is irritated easily, but if not provoked, his bad mood will go as fast as it came. A man must be able to listen without interrupting or correcting his partner's remarks.

Under the effect of stress, a woman can only restore her balance by means of speech. If her partner shows her support and understanding, it will be enough for her to stop dramatising.

Third symptom: collapsing

By accumulating tension, a woman can easily collapse abruptly. This reaction is a cry for help, but a man interprets it automatically that he failed and cannot do anything for her. He does not see that her depletion results from an imbalance and he has nothing to do with it. This excessive fatigue is the female equivalent of male folding. The more the pressure increases in a woman, the less she thinks of herself. So she needs a helping hand.

Don't even try to give her advises or to blame her, but just listen to her and support her well. 

To restore balance, a woman must first examine her feelings. If she fails to unravel them, a growing imbalance is reflected by the symptoms mentioned above.

Sirs, in order to cure a woman from her stress, try to understand and recognise these symptoms. All a woman needs is an attentive ear and a strong support.

According to John Gray

Better Understand a Woman

Next.. Sirs : try to understand women !!

Better Understand a Man

How to Deal with a Stressed Man

Ladies, do you recognize the symptoms of a stressed man without feeling concerned? It is not easy. A man shows three main symptoms of stress that women often interpret negatively and resent: remoteness, bad temper and refolding. Women, ignoring these symptoms, tend to feel involved and exaggerate their suffering. Certainly, if women are able to interpret these symptoms correctly and understand them, they will relax and know how to help their partner find his balance.

First symptom: Remoteness

In a stress situation, the first instinct of a man is to take distance and stop communication. Of course, the woman feels that his attitude is against her. She imagines that he no longer loves her. This is normal because in the eyes of a woman, this attitude reflects indifference or resentment. For a woman, the opposite happens: the more she is under pressure, the more she becomes concerned about the well-being of those she loves. If a stressed man is not conscious of his own suffering, he becomes deaf to the others and minimizes the problems of his entourage. He hinders his emotions; he rejects any attempt to help or dialogue and pretends that everything is fine. 

A woman needs to know that a distant man is a man who struggles against his emotions.

 

Second symptom: Bad Temper

A worried man devotes all his energy to achieve the stated goal. If he is interrupted for another reason, he has the greatest difficulty in changing his plan. It is easier for a woman to shift her focus from one subject to another. A man, however, cannot but concentrate on one task at a time. If one disturbs his concentration, he protests. A woman will think he is abusing her patience.

Under the effect of stress, a man loses interest in everything and shows a bad mood.

Third symptom: Refolding

At the highest tension, the stressed man withdraws into himself and shows utter indifference. This is one more mystery to the woman: when she closes to herself, it's because she has decided to do so. She believes that he escapes from her deliberately for some obscure reason for revenge. In fact, this refolding is a defense mechanism that is set up when the man feels flush with painful feelings. While his wife sees a pure and simple rejection, the man just needs to be alone to solve his problem.

Don't even try to help him; just accept and respect his solitude.

Faced to the bad temper of a man, a woman is afraid to ask. In order to ensure his help, she must learn to ask. If she does not ask, she will obtain nothing. Once a demand is made, she must remain silent without trying to justify herself. The silence is conducive to reflection.

Ladies, to cure a man from his stress, nothing is like a little love and tolerance.

To be followed ..

According to John Gray

Better Understand a Man

Next .. When a man is stressed ..

Dangerous friendship !

When friendship with the opposite sex becomes dangerous ..

 

Why do we seek friendship with the opposite sex? Is it because the "classical" friendship is not sufficient to meet our needs? Is it because we want to live a "different" experience, richer than what we lived with the same sex, but while remaining just "friends"? Or because we can confide with the opposite sex without being judged, and open up more easily than with one's own partner?


This difference in relationship certainly encourages people to establish friendship with the opposite sex. They interact with colleagues every day, sometimes closely and sometimes in a very personal way. One cannot help being around these people. In many cases, these are people whom we see most often than on's own partner.

They are women and men that you meet at work or in the entourage. However, how do we know if this friendship is likely to cause troubles? Indeed, this is not always easy, because human relationships tend to evolve gradually : almost all opposite-sex friendships begin in an innocent way. If one is not careful, it can become a serious threat to his / her personal life or marriage.

A relationship of friendship begins at a very basic level: to know each other. Before the person realises it, he / she starts to open up to the friend and expresse his / her concerns, worries and troubles (particularly those related to private life). Being a man, you give her a sympathetic ear. In appreciation, she gives you the attention and care that sometimes exceed those you receive from your own wife. You will find her so flattering and her behavior gives a good push to your ego. As for her, she feels safer with you because you show great interest in listening to her concerns and encourage her.

Unconsciously, the opposite-sex friendship becomes the most important relationship in your life, even more important than your relation with your own partner. It is at this point that this "friendship" becomes a real threat to your marriage and personal life.

How to determine if this friendship turns into dangerous relationship? Here are some hints:

• You’re physically attracted to the person, and think about him / her when you’re not at work.

• You find yourself sharing personal information that you wouldn't share with someone else or even with your partner.

• When you arrive at work, you start looking for this friend and you are really disappointed if he / she is not there.

• You begin to create opportunities to be alone with him / her during the workday, or outside the workplace for lunch or coffee. You're ready to linger too long at your desk to see him / her.

Because of these changes, to which you are completely unconscious, this relationship can take another dimension that goes beyond mere friendship. The friend finds more fulfilment and satisfaction in his / her relationship with you. Even if nothing unusual happens between you, you may have unwittingly pushed your friend not to face his / her problems that he / she should deal personally with his / her own partner. One will end up clinging to the other.

Certainly, many persist on their friendships with the opposite sex in which nothing ever happened and nothing will never happen between them. Evidence such as: "we're just friends"; "he doesn't represent anything for me"; "my best friends are all of the opposite sex" confirm that opposite-sex friendship is as normal and natural as the same-sex friendship and is not likely to take a romantic dimension. However, if one asks the following questions: Can you be sure that the other feels the same way as you do? That he / she sees this relationship in the same perspective as yours? That your emotions will not evolve differently in the future? Not always! Living a platonic friendship between man and woman is a major issue, a debate that remains open ..

For further reading, here are some evidences 

Man .. Woman .. Dangerous friendship

Next .. When friendship with the opposite sex becomes dangerous ..

Some Definitions in Life ..

How do you define..

Woman..

When a woman accuses her husband of having a bad taste, she forgets that chosing her as a wife is part of this "bad taste" ... these are women.

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Man..

If a man can have all the women on earth except one, he will desire this only woman ... these are men.

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Human ..

When a man likes a woman, he imagines her naked. When a woman likes a man, she imagines him at his best. These are human beings.

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Selfishness..

When someone calls you for something very important, it's is obviously important for him ... this is selfishness.

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Wisdom..

When your wife insists on buying fresh fish and not frozen and keeps it carefully in the freezer for a few weeks in order to enjoy the "fresh fish" later ... this is wisdom.

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Relativity ..

A man sought all his life the perfect woman to marry her, and when he finally found her, 40 years later, he discovered that she too was looking for the perfect man who was not him ... this is relativity.

 

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Awareness..

A beautiful woman asked an African archaeologist to marry her in order to make the humanity miracle child: who has the beauty of his mother and the intelligence of his father. However, the archaeologist has refused for fear that the child might have the beauty of his father and the intelligence of his mother and thus become the stupidity of humanity. This is awareness. 

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If you cannot look forward because your future is dark .. or backward because your past is painful .. live your present as it's the only real moment. This is the personal development ...

How do you define ..

Next .. some essential definitions in life ..

Your imagination reveals who you are ..

What you imagine is what you are!

Here is an interesting test, which needs some imagination in order to learn to know yourself as well as the others. You will need a paper and a pen to write down what you imagine so that you won't forget it.

Imagine a desert. In it there is a cube. How is the cube? (big, small) What is its colour? Is it transparent or not? Is it made of wood, metal, glass, etc? Is it in the middle of desert or in a corner? What is it made of? Do you see in 3d or not? Is it floating or on the ground?

Imagine a ladder. What is its colour? Is it far from the cube, near or leaning on the cube? Does it have many ranges or few?

You see a horse, how is it wild or domestic? Is it near the cube or far? Is it beautiful or not? Does it run, stand still, or is it tied?

Then imagine a storm. Is it near the  cube or far? Is it big or small? Is it strong or weak? Is it passing by or staying? Is it near the cube or far from it?

Here is the meaning of the objects you imagined:

The Cube





The cube represents you!

. The bigger the cube is, the bigger your ego. If the cube is transparent, you are open to others; you don't hide anything from your friends or family. If you cannot see through the cube, it means that you are a private person and don't talk much about yourself.

. If the cube is made out of something solid and strong, it means that you are a strong person. If it is soft, it means that you can be easily influenced and you are emotional.

How you think about the cube represents how you think about yourself.

. Cube on the ground = you are down to earth.

. Floating cube = you are a dreamer.

. You see the flat side of the cube = you have a shallow personality.

. You see the cube in 3D = you have a deep personality.

. Cube in the centre = you like the attention and you like to be praised.

The colour of the cube represents your personality. In general, if the cube is light you are a positive person and the darker it is the more negative you are. However it may not always be so, you should always pay attention to how you feel about the colour. If you like the colour then you are a likeable personality, it the colour seems cold to you, you seem distant to people.

Meanings of the cube colours:

. Black = authority, elegance, sophistication. It can also mean the dark side of the personality.

. White = innocence, non-judgemental personality, objectivity, lack of strong opinions.

. Red = dominance, power, love and energy. If your cube is red it also can mean that you are an attention seeker.

. Yellow = shows that the person loves attention and would do almost anything to get the attention. If this is your colour, you may seem too overbearing to some people so they may avoid you. This colour also represents playfulness, optimism and energy.

. Green = compassion, prosperity, money, and vitality.

. Blue = knowledge, loyalty and calmness.

. Purple = luxury, wealth, and sophistication.

. Brown = stability, it's the most common cube colour among men.

The Ladder

The ladder represents your friends!

. The closer the ladder to the cube, the closer you are with your friends. If the ladder is leaning against the cube, this indicates that some friends are relying on you or expecting you to act according to their wishes.

. If the ladder is far away from the cube, it may mean that you either have no friends or you don't consider their friendship important to you. You either mentally or physically like to distance yourself from your friends.

. The colour of the ladder represents the personality that most of your friends have. You can check the meaning of the ladder colour in the cube colour description.

. The more rungs the ladder has, the more friends you have.


The Horse

The horse represents your ideal partner and how you behave in relationships!

. If it is a wild horse, it means that you give freedom to your partner.


. If the horse is tied, it means you want to be in control and you always want to know where your partner is and what he/she is doing. If the horse is tied to the cube that shows that you are a very possessive person.

. The distance between the cube and the horse shows how close or distant you are in relationships. How the horse behaves also shows what kind of partner you would like to have.

. If the horse is running or does not stand for long in one place, it means that you want to have a partner that would like to travel, would be full of energy and would always be involved in something.


. If the horse does nothing but stands or eats, it means that you want to have a partner that likes to be at home and rarely travels.

. The look of a horse can also indicate the physical features of your ideal partner. The better the appearance of the horse, the better-looking partner you would like to have.

The Storm

The storm represents how you deal with difficulties in life!

. If it is a big storm, then you always try to make a drama out of something.


. If the storm is small and far away from the cube, it means that you are a calm and positive person and you don't like being angry and try to quickly shift your mood if you notice that anger gets activated in you.

. The storm can also represent current problems in your life. If, whilst seeing storm in your mind's eye, you think that it will stay there for a long time, you think the same way about your current problems.

. If you see a big storm, it means that you currently experience big problems in your life. The proximity between the storm and the cube also shows how intensely these problems affect you.

With this test of imagination, you can better understand how you lead your life. You can also use it to better know the person who interests you.

What you imagine is what you are

Soon .. your imagination tells who you are ..

Man .. Woman, just friends!

Him and Her, just friends?

We all need friendship. Friendship can give us something that we cannot get from our family. However, when we speak about friendship, do we refer to the man-man, woman-woman or man-woman friendship? Is it the same thing? Why do we seek friendship with the opposite sex? Before answering these questions, the person that you consider "friend" is really just a firend? Watch his / her behaviour, his / her speech and especially the  body language which never lies. Here are some clues that show you that the other is not just "friend":

He .. just a friend?

· He does try to impress you.

· He offers personal gifts for your birthday.

· He never talks about his feelings towards someone else.

· He talks about what he did during the day, what he ate for diner, tv programs that he watched...

·  He calls you simply to hear your voice.

· If you mention another man, he becomes very quiet and moody and is keen to change the subject.

She.. just a friend ?

·  She takes care of her appearance in front of you so that to attract you.

· Pay attention to her reactions to you when you are with her. A girl who wants to be more than just friends will usually try to stay close to you. Read her body language. Girls usually smile a lot around boys they like.

· She offers you an irregular level of eye contact.

· Think about her availability when you need support. If she always answers your phone calls, replies to your text messages and shows up at important events in your life, chances are, she wants to begin a relationship with you.

· Consider the way she acts when you are around other girls. Jealousy is an almost sure sign that the girl you like wants to be more than just friends. She may get an upset look on her face or try to jump into every conversation that you have with other girls if she is jealous of the attention you are showing the other girl.

Friends around you can tell when something is going on and have no doubt on the changes taking place in your relationship with your friend.

However, the question is, why do we seek friendship with the opposite sex?

Men .. Women .. just friends!

Soon ..


Friendship man - woman?!

 

Couple life: Are you sure you love your partner?

Five False Friends that make love disappear ..

Some emotions that are part of the feeling of love cannot be regarded as an expression of true love. On the contrary, each of them negates the other. We take them as a proof of love but they are really what kills it. Do you know them?

Jealousy:

It is believed that the greater the bite of jealousy is, the greater the love seems profound. But if jealousy is inseparable from the feeling of love, it is far from being its major criteria. In true love, feelings are "I love" and "I am loved". In jealousy, there is only the feeling of the loved object of the other, who cannot bear losing him out of sight. He thinks he is no more loved. Excessive jealousy nourishes itself by the ignorance of the other. One speaks only of himself, of past wounds. In this relationship, the other is loved because he gives the 'jealous' a consistency to have what he lacks.

Overprotection:

This is when love is expressed as for the care of the other in a way of self-sacrifice: "I am concerned about you," "I protect you," "I wish your well-being". At first glance, it is a genuine love. But this protective love actually seeks personal rewards: "It's your turn now to take care of me," nobody else will care for you as well as me. " It is indeed an alliance that aims to heal the wounds of childhood abandonment, emotional or physical abuse.

Dependence:

Being dependent on the other is to be ready to do anything lest to be facing the insupportable emptiness in oneself that occurs when the other moves away. It's just like a child who feels alive and safe when he is connected to his mother. Dependence in love talks about love, but unrequited love, hurt love. Dependent love interprets, in adulthood, the desire to repair the deep wounds of childhood, where one was malnourished emotionally. But the repair is doomed to failure because the total and permanent fusion with the other is impossible.

Hyperintensity:

The romantic relationship depends on passionate feelings. That is to say: "this is the big love, the true one", both the feelings and emotions it provokes are strong. The temporality changes: there is time 'before' the meeting, an empty past of real meaning, and this short present, which destroys everything in its path. This love is driven by necessity, not desire, fed by the need and waiting; it is consumed immediately after being consumed. Words are a source of conflict. This love is of those who fear to reveal themselves to the other. Passion can hide the emptiness, difficulty or misunderstandings of the relationship.

Possessivity :

Having the desire to possession is one component of love, but when it is central and permanent, it is not love that is in questions, but rather fears. Possession is being unable to love unless one has his beloved available. We may not feel the control of the other, but unsupportable fear shots up from the depths of the psyche. "He is part of me, I cannot let him go away". The possessive, unlike the addict, does not seek to merge with the other as he considers him to be part of him, like a body organ. Possessiveness is older than jealousy. When the possessive loses control of the other, he feels threatened in his own life, as if his partner left bloodless, drained of his lifeblood.

These emotions of love, so dangerous, should be avoided or consumed in moderation.

According to Psychology