Communicating again with Men ..

What else should you know about Men ?

Ladies, you do not probably know all about men. That's why I propose an additional 'lesson' to help you communicate with them. In fact, men are very different from women, but they are complementary and that is where lies the secret of good communication. All you need is to understand each other in order to be able to communicate. If you put in mind that men are not as complicated as you think, beware that your communication will be a success.

If you want to get a man to be ‘chatty', all you need to do is to make him talk about a topic he loves such as a hobby, a sport, or his job. He wants a woman to listen to him as much as women wants a man to listen to her.

Avoid the question "What are you thinking ?" A man can do better than he can explain. You believe that the man doesn’t think. Because every time you ask him what he's thinking, he can never give you a clear answer. In fact, a man thinks constantly but he is not aware of it. All he knows is that thoughts and ideas spring forth fully formed into his mind. Often, men will come up with a brilliant idea, but not be willing to explain to you how he came up with it. He is not being stubborn or refusing to communicate. He doesn't understand where it came from any more than you do; he just won't admit it. To find an idea, a man will devote much time and effort to it.

Can you get a man to talk about his feelings? No, you can't. Trying to force him to will just drive him away. Does that mean you will never know how he feels about you? Of course not.

First of all, you can tell how he feels by how he acts and what he does. That he's there with you, sharing things with you, doing things with you, is an expression of his love.

Secondly, he will do many things to express his feelings that you will not recognise as such, like making efforts to make you happy but .. in his way. To a man, the gift of a tool is the ultimate expression of love even if for you it's not that romantic.

Finally, a man will on very rare occasions spontaneously come forth with an expression of love that you will recognise as such, either by saying it or getting frisky or giving flowers or something alike. It is very important to react in the proper manner when he does these things. You must learn to accept all his expressions of love, both gracefully and graciously. To react calmly and unexpressively (the way he usually reacts to anything you give to or do for him) is to tell him that you do not appreciate this expression of love.

Don’t offer him help if he doesn’t ask you for. Offering and starting to help without waiting his agreement makes him feel that he actually needs your help. Do not offer in such a way as to make it sound like you think your man actually needs your help. Even if he does. Especially if he does. And do not under any circumstances ask as if you are amused by his inability to do the project himself. Remember, your man bases his sense of self worth on what he can do for you. To imply that he can't do the job himself or that you are amused by his failures is to imply that he isn't a man.

You can understand now that a man is not as complicated as he appears to be : he does more than he says. All you need to is to make an effort to understand him and so be able to communicate with him more efficiently. You will see how you'll change your mind about men ! Good luck.

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