Couple life: Are you sure you love your partner?

Five False Friends that make love disappear ..

Some emotions that are part of the feeling of love cannot be regarded as an expression of true love. On the contrary, each of them negates the other. We take them as a proof of love but they are really what kills it. Do you know them?

Jealousy:

It is believed that the greater the bite of jealousy is, the greater the love seems profound. But if jealousy is inseparable from the feeling of love, it is far from being its major criteria. In true love, feelings are "I love" and "I am loved". In jealousy, there is only the feeling of the loved object of the other, who cannot bear losing him out of sight. He thinks he is no more loved. Excessive jealousy nourishes itself by the ignorance of the other. One speaks only of himself, of past wounds. In this relationship, the other is loved because he gives the 'jealous' a consistency to have what he lacks.

Overprotection:

This is when love is expressed as for the care of the other in a way of self-sacrifice: "I am concerned about you," "I protect you," "I wish your well-being". At first glance, it is a genuine love. But this protective love actually seeks personal rewards: "It's your turn now to take care of me," nobody else will care for you as well as me. " It is indeed an alliance that aims to heal the wounds of childhood abandonment, emotional or physical abuse.

Dependence:

Being dependent on the other is to be ready to do anything lest to be facing the insupportable emptiness in oneself that occurs when the other moves away. It's just like a child who feels alive and safe when he is connected to his mother. Dependence in love talks about love, but unrequited love, hurt love. Dependent love interprets, in adulthood, the desire to repair the deep wounds of childhood, where one was malnourished emotionally. But the repair is doomed to failure because the total and permanent fusion with the other is impossible.

Hyperintensity:

The romantic relationship depends on passionate feelings. That is to say: "this is the big love, the true one", both the feelings and emotions it provokes are strong. The temporality changes: there is time 'before' the meeting, an empty past of real meaning, and this short present, which destroys everything in its path. This love is driven by necessity, not desire, fed by the need and waiting; it is consumed immediately after being consumed. Words are a source of conflict. This love is of those who fear to reveal themselves to the other. Passion can hide the emptiness, difficulty or misunderstandings of the relationship.

Possessivity :

Having the desire to possession is one component of love, but when it is central and permanent, it is not love that is in questions, but rather fears. Possession is being unable to love unless one has his beloved available. We may not feel the control of the other, but unsupportable fear shots up from the depths of the psyche. "He is part of me, I cannot let him go away". The possessive, unlike the addict, does not seek to merge with the other as he considers him to be part of him, like a body organ. Possessiveness is older than jealousy. When the possessive loses control of the other, he feels threatened in his own life, as if his partner left bloodless, drained of his lifeblood.

These emotions of love, so dangerous, should be avoided or consumed in moderation.

According to Psychology